YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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