btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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