Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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