she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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