garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize