I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize