brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
