just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
