your parents love me but you hate me
i would punch a child for taco bell
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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