Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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