when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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