You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
