How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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