his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
