I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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