Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
