Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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