she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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