But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
