but the lizard people decide everything anyway
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
me + whiskey = a bad person
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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