I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
