Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
nutella sex= disaster
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
