Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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