VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
