there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
