I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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