i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
