i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
