im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
