Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
