Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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