Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
