You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
