i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Randomize
