Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
