I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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