one two three fourrrrnication!
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
