Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
