none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
