I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
