I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
