1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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