You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
