You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
