Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
