guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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