I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
