you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
