We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
