YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
