May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
